5.31.2010

Too long of a pause.

It's been too long.

It's been too long since we had some real fun. It's been too long since I have seen some of my dearest women friends. It's been too long since I took some time for myself. It's been too long since my husband and I went out on a date. It's been too long since my last yoga class. It's been too long since I slowly enjoyed eating a meal. It's been too long since I just read a book for the hell of it. It's been too long since I had a tan or at least some color in my face. It's been too long since I slept through the night. It's been too long since my last real time alone. It's been too long without extended adult conversation. It's been too long away from this blog.

In the last 4 weeks, we thought about moving, found a place to move to, packed up our apartment in 4 days, left the city, moved to the suburbs, stopped sleeping in the living room because now we each get our own rooms, set up a house, met our new neighbors, updated our mailing address, left our friends, added a commute, tried to sell our apartment to someone we know, decided to rent our apartment instead and are now desperately looking for those perfect tenants who will stay just as long as we need them to.

We pressed fast forward, then play.

But I need a pause. A real one, an intentional one. Not the pause from writing or having fun that came along with the transition and upheaval of moving. I need a real pause, to catch my breath, be still and find my balance.

And the only way that I know how to do that, is too remove myself from the world that feels like it is going too fast. And the closest, most accessible place for me to remove myself to, is a retreat nestled deep in the Ventana Wilderness, southeast of Monterey. I am leaving the baby with my mom and my husband at home. There is a first time for everything.

This is me, pressing pause.

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